my existence

|>me |ian
|>existed |230589
|>status |married. |>currently |working |>represented |nineteen.19
|>piercings |labret'tongue
|>hue |red.black.pink
|>my songs |onlyone*
....broken this fragil thing now

i know this love between us is growing stronger
you can call me whenever from wherever
just remember that

i'll be there
through all the stormy weather
+us+ break up never
no we'll be together
in my heart you'll always be
and more to me
for I.
know this love between us
is growing stronger

for you are always
on my mind
you know that

you are always
on my mind?

spank me again

Image: I
Designer: I
Brush: I

my utopia



  • April 2006
  • May 2006

  • talk

    Wednesday, April 19, 2006

    |.fingers intertwining
    life lines touching
    an embrace

    gawd. it has been a long time ever since i actually start writing again. i must say i owe it all to szeteng. girl, if it wasn't for you. i never would have actually touch on my poems again. believe me. it would have just rot in the dumpsters. thanks again. i owe it to you. well, hopefully things do work out with pig. be it the best choice for you is to just move on or just simply to wait till one fine day perhaps she'll be touched by all that you have done for her. i know we don't know each other for long. i want you to know that whatever it is ... i'll be supporting you all the way all right ?

    we'll share moments that will last to the end. smiles**

    well, mummy is still in the hospital. i'm worried. what if, even on the day that she moves on. what if i never get the chance to actually tell her how exactly i'm sorry for not being able to fulfil what you wish your perfect daughter to be. forgive me. for i have sin against you time and time again. life hasn't been an easy road to take either since i left your comfort zone. imu* i mean it mum. every breath that i'm taking now, i owe it to you. why is it that god. heavenly shit has to be so unfair that someone as beautiful as you has to be suffering.. mum. i'm sorry. i took your presence for granted. and now, slowly...you're just slipping away.. like sand that flowing thru my tightly grasp hand. if i could, if i had a chance to play god. i swear i would never let you go thru all that pain and sufferings. till now, i still find my tear flowing down my cheeks whenever i think back on how you use to say that i'm just a lil' girl.. and that i'm growing up too fast. i would just scream and ask you to just stop it. cause i was a big girl now. and yet. deep down. in your eyes. i knew i'll always be that lil' innocent girl that you'll always love. i guess i just didn't like other people to take charge of my life. i wanted to be independent. but i never did went far without your hand holding onto mine tightly. just how you used to do so whenever you got so emotional. no matter where you'll be, in your lil' own utopia or be it in someones elses arms i know you'll always be right here next to me. watching me grow up. i never did get the chance to tell this. never did. and i really doubt i would get the chance to. mum.. all i wish for and all i need is to tell you. i love you. i do.

    as all my emotions uncurl ......
    the stars that we put in place. will always be engraved in my heart...

    <3 1:23 PM