my existence

|>me |ian
|>existed |230589
|>status |married. |>currently |working |>represented |nineteen.19
|>piercings |labret'tongue
|>hue |red.black.pink
|>my songs |onlyone*
....broken this fragil thing now

i know this love between us is growing stronger
you can call me whenever from wherever
just remember that

i'll be there
through all the stormy weather
+us+ break up never
no we'll be together
in my heart you'll always be
and more to me
for I.
know this love between us
is growing stronger

for you are always
on my mind
you know that

you are always
on my mind?

spank me again

Image: I
Designer: I
Brush: I

my utopia



  • April 2006
  • May 2006

  • talk

    Monday, April 24, 2006

    |do you know what it feels like of being all alone?

    michele has been bugging pisai. poorthing. sighh** what exactly does she want from me. i'm truely confuse. it was her who wanted to give up. and now she's putting me in a bad light. should i even allow what she's saying affect me that much? she made me fear relationship. i was more than willing to give her my all. and yet she literally took me for granted and just wanted more and more. was that fair? all i ever wanted for her was for us to just take on this journey hand in hand. not for her to change into something but yet.. most of the time. it did feel as though i was the one changing for her. nevermind about that. the past.. is just one horride nightmare.

    leave my life now. please.

    baby came over yesterday. she reached here around 5pm. I could tell that she was so tired after work and all.. i'm sorry baby for making you come all the way here just to spend some time together. just before she came, pisai already went off to her friends room. to "study" [in the end she just fell asleep..pig] all that were left was me and my baby. smiles** and not forgetting black cat.. baby was like addicted to it cause she just kept on drinking and drinking and .... drinking. think she went a little crazy. it became obvious when she started slapping me. my entire life. noone ever did slap me. nope. but she did. i wasn't a tinge mad. instead. i just loved the way she giggled and smile. baby, as long as you're happy. the whole time, she just kept laughing and drinking her way.. i loved the way she would cuddle herself right next tome. and have her arms wrap around me tight. baby, all i could see was just... you and me.

    baby was extremely cheeky that day in perticular. laughhs** and i finally overcome my fear kissing someone with braces. and people... they don't cut. laughh** every single time we got to go a little further. i just feel so much closer to you. baby. tell me you won't leave. sighhs** and from it all. i've got to admit. baby is definately a good kisser. too bad, she's only mine. smiles** i know you hate the whole smoking and kissing thing. i'm sorry. i've already gotten so used to it. but you don't have to worry anymore. i quit. i finally did. i just want you to be happy.

    i started thinking again. a whole lot more.. my heart couldn't stand the sting so i had to leave the room to fag. baby i hope you do understand. its times like this.. ya. i just hope you really do. got a new pack of viceroy menthol super lights.. not really my type of cigg. but baby said it should be time for me to take something thats much lighter than the usual red. my throat wasn't exactly all that happy when i inhale. but baby was there and i just didn't want to disappoint her. so i told her it tasted fine. we were at the roof.. hehe. getting all cheeky again. baby, you have to stop getting me all ... "up there" you cheeky lil monster.. always wanting to pull my boxers a little higher each time.. baby. **shakes head. i'm shy too you know. the worse thing was, in the whole process of making out and stuff... laughhs** we happen to have visitors. who were happily enjoying our free show. "damn", but we continued anyway. ha.

    there was this point, were we listened to the song "angel".. and the both of us just fell asleep. baby, you looked beautiful. with your eyes all shut and everything was just so calm. sighh** if only i could have you in my arms for a lil' longer. i'll never be content. sighhs**

    Two lips telling secrets
    Two hearts connecting
    ...arms feeling warmth
    ...legs intertwined
    bodies becoming one
    souls being lifted to heaven
    us,beginning a new life as one

    <3 1:52 PM