my existence

|>me |ian
|>existed |230589
|>status |married. |>currently |working |>represented |nineteen.19
|>piercings |labret'tongue
|>hue |red.black.pink
|>my songs |onlyone*
....broken this fragil thing now

i know this love between us is growing stronger
you can call me whenever from wherever
just remember that

i'll be there
through all the stormy weather
+us+ break up never
no we'll be together
in my heart you'll always be
and more to me
for I.
know this love between us
is growing stronger

for you are always
on my mind
you know that

you are always
on my mind?

spank me again

Image: I
Designer: I
Brush: I

my utopia



  • April 2006
  • May 2006

  • talk

    Sunday, May 07, 2006

    lala. thats me trying real hard to act cute.
    laughhs** don't be an ass and laugh. i do look cute. hehe.
    well,the day before yesterday, went off town with my dearest brother pisai. met up with moo and mummy. moo left after 2 mins. had to go home cause her mom needed her to be back by a certain time on that day. [its okay moo, no need to apologise. just make it up to me on my bdae by turning up for it okay!?] well, then there were me, pisai and my mummy. felt so much like a lightbulb. pouts~ where is my baby. hehe wells, got to know this girl name mae. aww, she's just the sweetest thang on earth. hehe. hung out for real long at rocky masters. with benji[some gay dude. who actually is good looking..] for a few hours, then mac come along together with kaeson and von. thought for a moment kaeson was attached to mae. never did know they were actually good friends. smiles. von and kaeson were a table away from us and mac was then talking to me about michele. --pinksheep. about what she commented about me and all. upset as i was.. i held back my anger and tears. i swallowed them all. the stuff that she said about me pulled my self-esteem down so darn low. i could only bite my lip hard and continued listening unwillingly. how sad. how...painful. am i really that bad a bung? then, pisai called up kellyn thinking that she might be with charmaine in town or something. but then we realised that she was at home.
    next moment. bam. pisai was tearing.
    sighh** things just bad to worst. i couldn't digest all the facts. i was and still am in shock. disbelief. kellyn, my potato. everything would be all right. i promise. i know. we all do. and whatever it is, i'm here. i'll be your potato forever. iights? sighhh* we then decided to leave the group cause wayne was there together with keith[or whatever her name was] i wasn't having issues with them. but i was sure pisai sure did feel uncomfortable cause wayne was there. so i said bye to sisi and her gf. and then keith said"yvonne tay. i know who the hell you are" ... ... ... the day was already bad enough and she had to make my blood just raise right up to the rooftop. how upsetting. my fist all clenched. but sisi held me back and told me to just leave cause they drank alot. so i answer. "laypeng. i know who the hell YOU are too." and left. went over to HMV. pisai.. my poor brother was still... upset. sighh** i didn't know what to say. there i was again. all lost not knowing what exactly was the best way to comfort someone. i'm sorry brother if i wasn't good at making you feel better. words don't work for me. i'm sorry. hopefully you're better now. we searched for a place to sit down. was at the edge for a moment. then we decided to do something for kellyn. i made a suggestion to but a sketch book and start drawing for kellyn. something that i have never done for anyone. all my sketch book were all my works. never have i done something like that before. ... ... ... yea. then we sat down at mac donalds at takka. started off with "kellyn. --her beauty just shines." sighh** then got really emotional. but still trying to put on a front thru it all. went over to cine again to get ourselves a decent meal. i ate chicken rice. not bad. chilli was good. yupps. went on to rockys to complete the rest of it. sat there till about 12plus? wasn't sure of the time. then the shit stuff had to happen. pisai phone went flat out dead. how nice. we then decided to head back to pisai's home. get the phone charged and get some money to go down to kellyn house and pass it to her face to face. took loads of dvds..to keep myslf entertained if pisai were to head on home. got over to kellyn house at rivervalley.. somewhere in sengkang. got to see her. she looks pale. must have been malnutrition. been eatting fish porriage. [besides the wonton noodles] haha but that <-- was illegal. haha. don't worry all right. after this, potato, we'll go eat something good together. i promise. the results would only come out on tuesday. but girl, everything would turn out fine. you'll swift thru all this. only a minor hiccup right? hehe. kellyn went off to take a snooze on her bed. so me and pisai decided to watch underworld. the first one. [not underworld evolution] yeah. not that bad. all the gore and violence was.. interesting. haha. but, the whole vampires and lycons things was way cool. i'm glad that me and pisai liked it.
    after the whole thing. me and pisai and kellyn decided to go to some wierd mall to go eat breaky. yeah!! kellyn treated me and pisai to some mac donalds. aww..so sweet right? hehe huggs. thanks potato.i ate sausage mac muffin w/ egg. and coffee. haha. yummy. and pisai took the hotcakes with sausage meal. smiles. i love mac breaky. loads!!!! thats MY macdonalds. so everyone should just back off. hahaha..
    so then while we were on the verge of falling asleep [after staying awake for 24 hours] me and pisai that it was time to get a decent haircut for ourselves. hair was growing out of control. haha. there were 3 salons. jean yip, kimage and some hair inn or something. right next to each other. took us some disgusstion and all to decided whichi one we should go. kimage. -- even though we had the $20 voucher. the price was just too high. $31.90 for a normal hair cut plus wash. that would be like eqivalent to me wanting to dye my hair. bleah~ strikes out.hair inn. -- there was this bung hairdresser there. but pisai didn't really trust guys nor bungs cause she believe they wound do a good job unless they are gays. haha. yupps. so last option. jeanyip. the BEST. but in the end, my hair turn out to be the shorther version of last time. and pisai hair. was still the same. sighh** money wasted. but we were still happy. i guess. bought ciggs. some orange brand. it was okay. like smoking paper with an orange taste every single time you suck in.$10.10. ohh well. met up with mae again. really nice of her to come down all the way from chinatown. to where we were. then right after that. we took a long2 bus ride to sengkang and took another bus back to boonlay. smiles** the bus ride was so long. and i was so drained out. sighh** talked to mae the entire bus ride while taking occasional glances at pisai. sleeping so soundly. i love my brother. hehehe. came back to ntu together with mae. she decided to stay over to keep me company while pisai had to leave to head back home cause her mummy missed her pretty badly. bye brother. you'll definately be missed. then, me and mae started surfing the net. looking at all the cut and hot bungs. it felt so wrong. i'm a bung myself yet i'm seeing my own species. haha. but it was fun la.
    mae was a bundle of joy, she made me feel me. something that was really difficult to do. but we had a great time. i took 3 pills of flu med. was realy drowsy and doze off on the bed. not soon after. mae fell asleep too. woke up about 12 plus in the morning. went off the brush my teeth, then fag a morning stick and decided to go to jp to coffee bean to hang for a while. drank ice-blended vanilla. while watch mae eat a blue-berry cheesecake. i wasn't a fan of cheese cakes. luckily. ahaha... i saw hwee khim and meiqi. still together. both tall and all pretty looking, haha. what luck. after that it was about 255pm i sent mae back to the train station. after giving a nice hugg. she left for home to get changed to meet mac. some relationship problem thing AGAIN. sighh**
    i took 199 back again. thinking. i'm tired. haha. thats all.
    baby, i'm sorry i couldn't call you. my dumb phone ran out of prepaid. so it was tough on my side. i'm sorry. hope you are fine.huggs. i miss you.

    |ian do rock socks.

    <3 1:10 AM